Jealousy of getting new baby into the family

Jealousy is common among elder children when their mother is expecting for new baby. However, these behavior worries most parents as they afraid the elder children might harm the younger ones. Some parents even send the elder children to kindergarten or to their grandparents’ house just to separate them. Is that a positive move to make? What are the alternative ways?

Children that going to have younger sister or brother in the family sometimes will feel threaten. They are afraid of loosing the attention they used to get from their parents. Thus, they will show protest and sometimes become clingier than ever. Usually this will happen to children at age of two to five. This is because they are already get used to be ‘the one’ most favorable in the family, the one who getting most attention and more! Thus, they will ensure by all means that parents’ attention still there for them.

In order to win your attention when everyone attention is devoted to new baby, the elder children will do things that you can’t even imagine. My friend has experience his elder son pour tap water into the car petrol slot, throwing mug to the baby, biting the baby’s finger and more! Although they know that such behavior is unacceptable, but by doing so they will get the parents attention! That’s why they will keep on behaving badly, just to ensure that the parents’ attention is still on them!

What should we do? Here are some simple steps to show that the elder children are still getting your attention but when times the baby needs ones, the elder children must give way.

1. Get to your elder children first when you reach home from office. Talk to them what they have gone through that day.
2. Praise your elder children when ever they show good behavior
3. Let your elder children to feed the baby under your close supervision
4. Train your elder children that taking care of his or her sister/ brother is something good to do
5. Never ask your elder children to share his or her toys with the baby just because they are elder. Find other excuse such as toys are more fun to play when it is shared.
6. Continue the routine you used to have with elder children such as strolling in the park every weekend. In case you can’t make it, make sure you communicate to them the reason and promise them replacement. This will ensure them that they are still important to you.
7. Father need to devote his attention to elder children especially when the mother is in confinement. This will balance up the attention the children will get.
8. Explain that the baby make the elder children become more adult and have responsibilities. Treat elder children as adult such as taking care of the baby, assist parents changing baby’s diapers, assist in preparing baby for bath. This will also create attachment between them.
9. Respect the elder children’s views and opinion. Listen to their request and complaints.
10. Tell them that you love them as much as you love the baby!

All you have to remember…all children will demand attention. This is because parents’ attentions’ gives them sense of security, comfort and self confidence. So, please do not look jealous as something negative; it is something positive so long you able to control them.